


Bad day, goodnight

by the_doctors_magician12



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Light Angst, not too sure what to tag it, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 03:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3921229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_doctors_magician12/pseuds/the_doctors_magician12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day had been too much.<br/>Clara sat in her own haunted silence on the top step of the TARDIS control room. It had not been a good day. She'd had them before, normally she can move on, never forgetting but accepting. But today felt different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad day, goodnight

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously I don't own doctor who but I'm gonna borrow the characters anyway :) Like all my fics this was written at some ungodly hour on a school night so...I still don't know how good it is.

The day had been too much.

Clara sat in her own haunted silence on the top step of the TARDIS control room. It had not been a good day. She wasn't angry at the Doctor (he genuinely couldn't save those people), she wasn't angry at the universe really, she was angry at herself for dealing with everything so badly. She's been doing this, running with the Doctor for a long time now, years. Bad days happen and each time she'd mourn for a while, respect the people who had died, regretted the events even though she and the Doctor had done all they could...then she would move on.New day, new people. Never forgetting, but accepting.

But today she felt different.

It was as if today she felt all the upset she'd ever felt, while running with the Doctor, in one moment. The emotions she has to suppress when travelling with the Doctor were all boiling up inside her. The Doctor was at the console, brooding, annoyed at himself for not saving them even though it was impossible.

He glanced sideways at Clara seeing she was obviously upset. But then he noticed something more. He looked at her again, properly this time. The first of her tears were betraying her, she had a look of confused upset on her face.With a combination of any other emotions he would have teased, said she was malfunctioning again...but not those emotions. Not with that look on her face.

Clara remained still, not wanting to swipe away the tears that were slowly rolling down her face. Why was she feeling this now? It had been a terrible day, but...well, she's had them before and never felt quite like this afterwards.

"You feel terrible thinking it don't you?" The Doctor started slowly, softly, recognising her pain.

He doesn't want to push the subject but knows that _need_ overpowers _want_ in this case, "You feel terrible because you are wandering why you can't get over death when you have before. Then you feel guilty because the thought 'it's just another bad day' comes into you're head. You feel...disgusted...that you could ever think of death as 'just another bad day'." He looks down at the console in front of him, absently drumming his fingers on the cold metal.

She blinks away tears, looking at him questioningly. He meets her gaze again and she just nods slightly, more silent tears working their way down her cheeks. She feels like all she wants to do it curl away from everyone, curl away from herself and just sleep. So tired of feeling so upset in one day.

"It happens." The Doctor remains eye contact with her, not letting her shy away.

He continues, "It shouldn't happen but it does and I just wish it wouldn't happen to you. It happened to me and I got over it. I don't want you to get over it...if you do then...well, you're too much like me." His throat constricts as he feels his own eyes burning.

"Doctor," her voice is dry so she swallows before trying again, "Doctor, why?"

"I don't know." He whispers in a cracking voice, the first of his own tears just starting their descent down his face.

Clara slowly stands, taking a breath to try and compose herself as she does so. She walks down the steps to him, turning to face him fully.

They stare at each other for a minute, and, they realise, perhaps for the first time they are truly feeling and thinking in exactly the same way. They reach out in unison, both seeking each other's embrace. Her arms slip between his jumper and jacket, around his middle while he draws he head into his chest, gently stroking the ends of her hair.

"Thought you wouldn't want a hug." She says, dryly. It may have been an attempt at humour but the Doctor doubts it.

"That doesn't mean I don't need one, Clara." He whispers.

They stand in silence, just holding each other for quite a long while. After, several long minutes, Clara pulls away.

"I'm so tired." Her voice sounds almost as if she's pleading with the Doctor to let her sleep.

"Then sleep, Clara."

"This may sound weird but..." She starts, fiddling with her hands.

"Hey, it's ok. Trust me I know how you're feeling." He says, gently, not allowing her to finish.

The Doctor takes her hand in his own and leads her down the TARDIS corridor. A door appears in front of them. He pushes it open slowly, curious as to what room his beloved ship had led him to.

It's small, with a fire roaring away in the fire place opposite the door. The floor is covered in a thick, fluffy rug. The only furniture in the room is a large sofa, with a blanket over the back of it.

"This like the TARDIS 'room of requirement' then?" Clara asks as they both slip off their shoes by the door.

"Seems to be. The old girl knows what we need." He smiles fondly at his ship, telepathically thanking her.

The Doctor sits down cross legged on the floor in front of the fire, his back resting on the sofa. Clara lowers herself to the ground next to him, curling her legs up underneath her, resting her head on the Doctor's shoulder.

They watch the flames in silence, each trying to find their peace in the tranquil setting of the small room, leaning into each other. At some point, the Doctor slipped his arm around Clara's back, and was lightly tracing circles onto the exposed skin in the crook of her elbow. The silence is finally broken by Clara's yawn.

"Sleep." He whispers, before burying his nose in her hair, lightly pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

She adjusts her position against him till she is lying down on the soft floor, her head resting on the Doctor's leg, just above his knee. The Doctor places his hand on her head as her eyes close. A few minutes later, he hears her heavy breathing, indicating that tiredness had finally got the better of her. He smiles, watching her rest peacefully for a few minutes.

Deciding he too is ready to welcome his slumber, he gently lifts her head from his leg, placing a cushion from her sofa under it instead. He pulls the blanket off the sofa, carefully laying it over Clara's small form, before turning to leave.

"Doctor, please don't go." Clara mutters, still half in her dreams. He stops, kneeling down before her.

"Clara, it's fine, I won't go if you don't want me to." She sits up a little, awakening more.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Please, just...lie down, Doctor." She says, hopeful he will do as she asks.

Obediently, he lies down facing her. She reaches out, pulling him closer, encouraging him to wrap an arm around her.

"Why does this emotion hurt so much Doctor? It just feels so shit." Clara whispers, burying her face into his jumper.

"Yeah I know. It feels crap because if it didn't, no one would want to make the universe better. And I would have stopped running a long time ago." He replies, rubbing her back slightly.

"Yeah." She agrees quietly, before sleep claims her again.

This time the Doctor drifts off soon after. Both clinging to the other in their haunted dreams. Arms wrapped around each other, comforting and being comforted in the hold off their best friend. Caring and looking after each other: the Doctor and his impossible girl.

 

 


End file.
